Its been almost a year since I had that eventful gtalk conversation. So eventful that it lead to the biggest chain of events in my life. It started out like just another ordinary " please oblige me" talks and moved on to drama in our individual lives. She was heart broken and I was going through a " there's no one out there for me " phase. Truth be told, we were just using each other as sponges/dartboards/confession chambers.
"What do you really need when you are in sorrow?"
I would have thought of the obvious ones - Sympathy,Love,Care. But I really feel, we all need to be Selfish. I say that because when we are hurt, we are vulnerable, vulnerable to all the pain in the world, all the thoughts, all the "crap" that's harmful. Loneliness suddenly starts appearing tempting.
We are reserved to our own thoughts and the human mind is so complex that it readily believes all the bad things and starts doubting all the goodness !
Being selfish at times is a good thing. Standing up for yourself when you are down and out needs to be made a healthy habit. An over-exaggeration of being selfish would be confining yourself to yourself. Yes, you need yourself but not for playing "Agony Aunt" but to fill your heart with trust, trust that you need to give yourself another chance at everything. That leap of faith is exactly what you need more than self pity. That small lingering after thought screaming back at you saying " Don't worry you don't need anybody, keep going" when you start questioning your vulnerability getting out of sorrow !
The gtalk conversation eventually led to an exchange of bb pins and 3 months later I was outside Gate No 5 ,Kingdom of Dreams, nervous,sweaty,apprehensive ,waiting for her to come out of that back door. That is another story for another time.
Looking back at time, I guess it was a good thing being selfish for once in our lives. If we wouldn't have exchanged our individual stories we would have never gotten to where we are today. I guess I should also add the fact that both of us didn't know each other well back then and hence were happy about the fact that we wouldn't judge each others actions.
God works in mysterious ways. I never knew he would give me a new bunch of people to get to know, a new city to visit, some funny adventures on the way. Yes, my sleep cycles have been compromised but it was well worth it.
365 days later.........I guess , it all adds up in retrospect or maybe there's more to the puzzle :)
"What do you really need when you are in sorrow?"
I would have thought of the obvious ones - Sympathy,Love,Care. But I really feel, we all need to be Selfish. I say that because when we are hurt, we are vulnerable, vulnerable to all the pain in the world, all the thoughts, all the "crap" that's harmful. Loneliness suddenly starts appearing tempting.
We are reserved to our own thoughts and the human mind is so complex that it readily believes all the bad things and starts doubting all the goodness !
Being selfish at times is a good thing. Standing up for yourself when you are down and out needs to be made a healthy habit. An over-exaggeration of being selfish would be confining yourself to yourself. Yes, you need yourself but not for playing "Agony Aunt" but to fill your heart with trust, trust that you need to give yourself another chance at everything. That leap of faith is exactly what you need more than self pity. That small lingering after thought screaming back at you saying " Don't worry you don't need anybody, keep going" when you start questioning your vulnerability getting out of sorrow !
The gtalk conversation eventually led to an exchange of bb pins and 3 months later I was outside Gate No 5 ,Kingdom of Dreams, nervous,sweaty,apprehensive ,waiting for her to come out of that back door. That is another story for another time.
Looking back at time, I guess it was a good thing being selfish for once in our lives. If we wouldn't have exchanged our individual stories we would have never gotten to where we are today. I guess I should also add the fact that both of us didn't know each other well back then and hence were happy about the fact that we wouldn't judge each others actions.
God works in mysterious ways. I never knew he would give me a new bunch of people to get to know, a new city to visit, some funny adventures on the way. Yes, my sleep cycles have been compromised but it was well worth it.
365 days later.........I guess , it all adds up in retrospect or maybe there's more to the puzzle :)
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